It's been a rather long time since my last blog. I switched gears and focused on my AdThoughts blog for awhile, but honestly I just haven't felt like I've had anything to say. I know the rules of blogging say you have to be consistent, relevant information, engage your readers, rah rah rah. So I've sat down several times in the last month and tried to think of something worth saying. I tried all of the creative tactics to find some new inspiring perspective, I read the news to see if there was anything I could have an interesting opinion on, I watched movies for hidden deeper meanings, I closed my eyes tightly and hoped for brilliance to pop out in a little thought bubble to the top right of my head. But nothing.
I started thinking back to why I started this blog in the first place. It came out of a random conversation I had in college. I was walking to my car after a late night of studying in the Library and this guy came up to me and said that God told him he needed to talk to me. Being on a Christian campus that had several Pentecostal or charismatic minded believers, I assumed (like many other ladies on campus would have I'm sure) that this was going to be the typical "God told me that we should date." In which case I typically responded that that was dandy and he should keep praying while I wait for God to deliver me the same message. I'm nothing close to resembling a Pentecostal and have some definite skepticism when it comes to God telling people things- I've seen more often than not that be an excuse to justify an opinion- but God didn't tell this guy to ask me out. God told this guy to tell me to write.
As I'm standing there trying to process this, trying not to laugh, and trying to keep my skepticism in tact, this guy is fervently beseeching me to write anything and everything. My thoughts, my dreams, my random ideas. He was absolutely 100% convinced that God had gifted me with the ability to write and that I needed to bless the world with that gift. Go forth and write blessed one. Just write.
I mulled it over in my head, thought through his words and whether or not they had any merit. If I ended up writing a best seller would it really be because God wanted me to or would it be self fulfilling prophecy because this kid told me that God wanted me to? Why wouldn't have God just told me directly? If God wanted me to write something I'd be happy to.
I may never have answers to these questions, but these words "just write" have been bouncing around my empty mind for a few days now. I tell people all the time to just write whatever comes to mind. Why is it so difficult for me to do that lately? Sometimes I feel like it's because nothing comes to mind; other times I feel like it's because everything comes to mind and there's no way to make sense of it. In any event, my next blog is going to be just that. Just writing. My thoughts, my life, what I can make of it anyway. No clever metaphors or motifs. Just a messy string of thoughts and events. Who knows; if God does just want me to write, maybe someone somewhere can be touched by my words. Maybe there will be a connection. And maybe I'll finally discover a theme or something worth reading, if I take the time to just write.
No comments:
Post a Comment